Court Buildings

I have spent most of this week at one of the most inefficient Courts that I have the displeasure of attending at on a regular basis. Whilst sitting around this week for files to be located, or waiting to get my case called in to Court simply because the lists are generally congested I considered what alternative uses a Court building can have.

Firstly Courts are the usual meeting place for drunks who have nothing better to do than see what their friends are up to. Many 'red faced' people turn up outside Court when a colleague has a Court appearance.

Secondly Courts have toilets that can be used and abused. When I went in to the male toilet today I heard loud snoring and could see the feet of a person who was in a cubicle. Another less regular use for toilets is for drug users to smoke heroin or whatever other substance takes their fancy. One use of a toilet that a Client once boasted to me about was to have conjugal relations with his girlfriend before he was sent to prison.

Thirdly some Courts try to entertain their 'guests' whilst they are waiting. The particular Court that I am talking about has several televisions. Depending on what part of the building you stand in you can watch daytime television on either BBC 1 or ITV 1. Unfortunately they do not have cable or satellite television installed. Today the fourth test of the Ashes was on the television where I was sat.

Fourthly members of the public can not only observe Court proceedings but interact. One gentleman today sat in the public gallery that actually extends to behind the secure custody dock. He joined in the proceedings today despite not having his own case by randomly shouting, "F*** off," and, "Piss off", to the District Judge. Initially the District Judge thought that it was the Defendant who was making the comments because the man making the comments was sat behind the Defendant and was out of the view of the District Judge. Eventually the District Judge worked out that the Defendant was not a ventriloquist and sent the 'interactive participant' to the cells.

The fifth use of the Court building that I thought of was to display a fashion parade. The different Court users dress in different ways when attending at Court. Normally you would expect people to display some respect and to attend Court in formal dress such as a suit and tie for males. Unfortunately it is only the lawyers and Court staff that seem to stick to this dress code. Defendants wear what they like and I have seen male Defendants get away with wearing shorts and a tee shirt before. The latest addition to the Court room in terms of personnel are the drug workers. Some of these are pretty poorly presented and one chap was wearing a red England football away tee shirt, scruffy jeans, and trainers today. He was dressed worse than most Defendants.

So there you go a Court building has many uses other than the administration of justice.