Friday Night Phone Call

Here is an example of the random phone calls that I deal with 24 hours a day:

Ring, ring... ring, ring...

Me: "Hello, can I help?"
Him: "My wife has been arrested."

Silence...

Me: "Oh, what has she been arrested for?"
Him: "I don't know"
Me: "Okay, where is she being held? What Police Station is she in?"
Him: "Money is no object".
Me: "That's very nice, and not necessary as legal aid would cover the costs. Where is your wife being held?"
Him: "I don't know. I can travel to you now if you like."
Me: "No, that's really not necessary. I need to know where your wife was arrested before I can help you. Where was she arrested?"
Him: "In London. She does not speak much English."
Me: "Have you spoken to her?"
Him: "Yes she phoned me".
Me: "Did she say where was?"
Him: "No".
Me: "What part of London was she arrested in? If you tell me I might be able to find her by phoning a few Police Stations?"
Him: "I don't know. Can you help?"
Me: "Erm, well not unless you can narrow down where she is otherwise it is like looking for a needle in a haystack. I cannot phone every Police Station in London looking for your wife."
Him: "Oh".
Me: "Sorry".
Him: "I will wait for her to phone and then I will call you."
Me: "Okay, that's fine."

Did the caller phone me back after waking me up? No.